To say that my wife and I are not on the same page in any number of areas would be an understatement. My favorite restaurants (wing places and sports bars) rank among her most hated places to eat. Many of her favorite places are entirely incompatible with my stomach. I love watching sports and, well, she does not. The way we go about solving problems is often remarkably different. She’s a registered nurse and deals with things people in the medical field deal with and I get light-headed if my finger is bleeding. I love drinking pop/cola/soda/soft drinks and she gags just hearing the carbonation fizz.

Our personal interests, likes, and hobbies are worlds apart. Our personalities, typically, are not similar. I have not used a dating site in my life but I don’t imagine such a site or algorithm would give us a compatible result. Yet 8 years later we are still married and still in love. The Christian reader understands in a profound way exactly why people who have little in common are in a healthy marriage.

Our core values and beliefs are intertwined about 75 feet below the surface. The deeper we dig the closer we get.

  • The way in which we want to raise our children is the same.
  • Our commitment to the institution of marriage is the same.
  • Our understanding of the role of government in society is the same.
  • We view money the same way.
  • We are both being saved and sanctified by the same God.
  • We believe the same way when it comes to deep doctrines of the Christian faith.

All this stems from our shared understanding of the Bible. We believe it is authoritative, accurate, and true from Genesis to Revelation. It doesn’t break my heart or upset me in the slightest when Melanie has no interest in going to my favorite wing place. She is not upset when I express no interest in watching a TV show she likes. What would be upsetting for one of us would be if the other rejected a clear teaching of Scripture. It’s the objective nature of the Bible that binds us together and keeps the superficial separations in their rightful place.

As we’ve gotten older together we have become, as many couples do, more alike. Our tastes still differ when it comes to the senses but we find more and more activities we enjoy doing together. This is the result of a commitment to love one another as we are commanded to do, not necessarily an evolving fun-o-meter. I don’t know how important it is to marry someone who likes what you like, but it is essential to marry someone of a like mind.