Posted On September 18, 2019

When You Miss, You’re Missed

by | Sep 18, 2019 | Theology

A Parable

Once upon a time, there was a mother with 7 sons. She loved her boys very much and they loved her. She and her husband were committed to the family meal and their evenings were often filled with laughter. And if you have boys then you know that those evenings were filled with a little arguing and tears as well! But all in all, this close-knit family took their time together as a family seriously.

As the years went on the boys did what they do best: kept growing. The family agreed that no matter what they would still meet the third Saturday of every month to eat a meal together. The boys got married and had families of their own and so you can imagine how crowded the house became during these meals! But this didn’t matter to the mother. It was a labor of love to work all day to fix a meal and to share her home with so many.

One Saturday, one of the boys – the 3rd youngest to be exact – texted his mother 10 minutes before time to eat that he wasn’t coming. He had a last-minute work-related issue come up that he couldn’t get out of. The mother was understanding of course, but boy was he missed! Yes, she loved all her 7 sons equally, but this one son missing put a bit of a damper on her evening. And while she smiled and truly enjoyed her time with her family, part of her was missing. It just wasn’t the same without him there. When he missed, he was missed. And not just by the mother either. There was something a bit incomplete about the whole evening without that brother and his family there.

Missing Church

I want to be a bit vulnerable in today’s post as I tell you what it’s like when a church member misses our regular main gatherings. I don’t mean to say I love my church members in the same way a mother loves her sons, for what human could match a love between a mother and her child!? But, I do mean to say this: Pastors love their church members. And I’m talking about good pastors here. Pastors who care about the gospel, the local church, and Christ’s glory.

Poor pastors care about numbers because they care about their ego. But faithful pastors care about their flock. They love those God has entrusted to their care.

Whether there is one member that comes on Sunday or five hundred and one, the pastor is going to spend the same amount of time in his study. He is going to pray for those in his care. He is going to wrestle with the text in order to present God’s truth rightly in a labor of love.

And so, I can assure you, when you miss church, you are missed. It’s not that the pastor doesn’t love the other members. Of course he does! But when you’re missing, something is just not as complete as it is when you are there. When you’re absent it’s like part of the body is not functioning properly. When you can’t be there, the family is a bit out of sorts. When you miss, you’re missed.

Attending Church Regularly

There are no doubt legitimate reasons for missing church. Now, often many of the reasons touted as legitimate aren’t so legitimate – we just need to spend some time at home today, we needed to sleep in, our child has a sporting event, etc.

The first application I want to make is to those who do have to miss from time to time. Just remember, when you miss, you’re missed. Perhaps your local church isn’t communicating that to you as they should, but just know it is the truth! Don’t let the Evil One deceive you into thinking no one cares, because they do! There is something a bit off when you can’t make it. As the pastor looks at the place you normally sit, he feels a tinge of sadness, even though he understands why you can’t be there.

To the Chronic Missers

The second application I want to make is to those who are considered “regular” attenders by our 21st cultural standards which means you make it about 2x a month or less. When you miss, you’re missed. And what’s different about you is that the pastor isn’t quite sure why you don’t attend more regularly. Is it him? It is his preaching? Has he offended you in some way?

As he looks to the place you sit and sees you missing, he feels a tinge of sadness, and a perhaps even a bit of doubt creep in as to whether or not you love the local church as it loves you. And another question that might enter his mind and the minds of other faithful members is – are you truly born again? Because those born again love the people of God (after all, Christ is after a people – Titus 2:14). And so, what might your paltry commitment say about your eternal state?

Two Final Applications

Do all within your power to not miss the main gathering of your local church. Yes, things come up. But do what you can to schedule your week around Sunday, instead of Sunday around your week. Don’t miss! Because when you do, you are really missed!

And finally, when you do have to miss, stay in contact with the Body. You’re right, they should check in on you too, but don’t make it just about that. Let them know why you have to miss and let them know you will be praying for the service. And know that when you miss, even for legitimate reasons, you are really missed!

Let’s do all we can to make the local church like a family. Because it is a family. It’s God’s family that He purchased with His own blood (Acts 20:28).




Related Posts

Have You Learned Christ?

Have You Learned Christ?

In Ephesians 4:20, Paul says the Christians at Ephesus had "learned" Christ. By that, Paul means, the Messiah. What Christians have learned is that Jesus is the true God of the universe. He is the 2nd person of the Trinity who is the fulfillment of all the OT...

Parable of the Talents: It’s Not About the Talents

Parable of the Talents: It’s Not About the Talents

The Parable of the Talents is more than just about "talents." A lot more! But how are these talents typically portrayed? Money, time, power, resources? So often we hear sermons on this text, and so much time and ink are spent describing what the talents symbolically...

Ep. 049 | Conley Owens and The Dorean Principle — TAU Roundtable

Ep. 049 | Conley Owens and The Dorean Principle — TAU Roundtable

It gives us great joy to return to a roundtable episode with an interview with Conley Owens, author of The Dorean Principle. You can read or order the book at What are your thoughts about money and ministry? Do you see a problem with the...

Family Camp – (guest) Movie Review

Family Camp – (guest) Movie Review

Family Camp I’ve been on every major production company’s list of “Christian” bloggers for over a decade so when I heard about Family Camp, I was interested because the Skit Guys had made some good content years ago. But when I watched the trailer I was annoyed within...

Reformed Systematic Theology – Vol 3: Spirit and Salvation (book review)

Reformed Systematic Theology – Vol 3: Spirit and Salvation (book review)

Joel Beeke and Paul Smalley’s Reformed Systematic Theology Vol. 3: Spirit and Salvation is another theologically rich entry in what has already become a modern classic series. As with the previous volumes, the authors effectively balance academic theological precision with pastoral and devotional care.

Book Review: How Can We Rescue Those Being Taken Away to Death?

Book Review: How Can We Rescue Those Being Taken Away to Death?

Brett A. Baggett, Dusty Deevers, and James Silberman: Rescue Those: How Can We Rescue Those Being Taken Away to Death? Copyright 2021  Rescue Those INC. You can order copies here. These booklets are given away for free. I suggest Christians who benefit from this work...