The Great Commission of the church of God in Jesus Christ is to make disciples of all nations (Mt 28:19). Christians within local churches will contribute to the carrying out of this command of our Lord Jesus in a variety of ways based on their giftings and providential circumstances.
So how does a man balance the call to evangelize his neighbors with the requirements that God has specified to his family? This is an important question and one that deserves thoughtful consideration and scriptural wisdom.
What is Balance Anyway?
Balance is the idea that we ought to do everything in the right proportion to each other thing we do. For example, when talking about work-life balance, people are usually referring to the need for people to not let their work interfere with their personal life.
You must remember that balance doesn’t necessarily mean “the same amount of time” engaged in each activity. Because some activities take higher priority than others or require more time than others, balance can look different across various situations. Ultimately, you need to grow in wisdom to achieve a biblical balance of your priorities.
God Never Commands you to violate His Commands
One concept you must keep in mind is that God will never command you to do something at the expense of you violating another of His commands. Simply put, you never are required to sin to obey God. To put it a little more practically, you will not have to sacrifice your family to be a faithful dispenser of the gospel. On the other hand, since God does commission us to spread the gospel, we can also ascertain that “having a busy family life” will rarely be an exception that excuses you from actively evangelizing.
It’s possible to be too focused on evangelism and neglect your family. And you can use your family as an excuse to avoid your other duties to God.
Of course, there are exceptional circumstances such as taking care of someone who cannot take care of themselves which will prevent you from being a street minister. Or there’s the time you come home a little late because you ended up striking up a conversation at the gas station and were sharing the gospel. Good reason should eliminate the fringe cases from being problems.
What is important is that you strive to be pleasing to the Lord in all areas of life. And this includes your role as a father or mother, husband or wife, church member, employee, community leader, and whatever else you might be called to.
How Can You Accomplish This?
You can do this well, but it requires help. Here are a few quick tips from the perspective of a husband.
- Your wife is your partner.
- Your kids are your arrows.
- Your hobbies and interests are your enemies.
- Your church is your friend.
Your wife is your partner.
When you and your wife see your evangelism as a partnership where you are both contributing and participating, instead of your wife simply “missing you while you’re gone,” she considers herself as sending you out. Rather than ministry or evangelism being your mistress, it is seen as her mission too.
Encourage your spouse that she is also a participant in the Great Commission and that by sending out a faithful evangelist and sacrificing some of her desires to do so, she is serving the Lord in her own important and significant way. As Paul Washer says about missions and evangelism, “You either go down in the well or you’re holding the rope.” Everyone is playing a role to make disciples of all nations.
Also, your wife will be one of the best people to tell you that you are spending too much time away from the family or her. Listen to her and try to understand her viewpoint. She is your partner that God provided, and He knows what He is doing when he picks our spouses.
Your kids are your arrows.
As early as possible, try to teach your children the importance of gospel proclamation. Your family worship should include times of prayer for the heathen, and your children should understand that you love them AND your lost neighbors.
Now I know some people will have different thoughts on when, where, and how to do this, but I think as early as possible you need to get your kids out sharing the gospel through tracts. They should know that every person they come across has an eternal destiny and that a simple written gospel could alter someone’s path from Hell to Heaven.
If your kids are on trips with you and sharing the gospel with you and you’re taking them with you places, you don’t have to worry too much about “balancing” family with evangelism, since you’re spending time with them. Just be ready for things to not go the way you planned as children often have to use the restroom more often, “get bored,” or even need some kind of correction in public.
But like arrows in the hands of a warrior, they will keep you from being put to shame in the gates if you train them when they are young. And you will double or triple (or even more) the number of people you can reach by simply letting them be part of your evangelism. If you are a preacher or accompany one, your children can be edified by God-glorifying preaching while passing out tracts. It’s a double bonus!
Your hobbies and interests are your enemies.
We all have parts of our lives that are simply rest and recreation. Some are essential, and some are not. Some are good, some are good but not in the quantity in which we indulge in it.
Take an inventory of how you spend your time. I think you will find that rather than miss time with your wife or kids because “you’re doing evangelism,” you might notice that there are other things that you could cut out that are neither evangelism nor “family time.”
Not all recreations are bad or sinful. But in our entertained-to-death culture, we all can benefit from unplugging and freeing ourselves of distractions. At the very least, be honest about what you’re spending the time God gives you doing, and place each recreation in its proper priority.
Your church is your friend.
God has given you local church pastors and fellow members to help you with every area of Christian life. Even if the other members do not do evangelism, they will have insight into time management and caring for a family.
Years ago I was discipling a young man who was a “very busy guy.” I remember one time he told me he had set a new goal of “playing with his sons for 5 minutes a day.” I remember thinking, “WHAT? Only five minutes?”
In his mind, this was a big sacrifice and made sense. He needed someone else to tell him being a father meant more than 5 minutes per day. Look out for people at your church or in the global church that you can glean insight from and ask them how to help balance things.
My Personal Testimony
By God’s grace, I have tried to structure my life so that I spend a lot of time with my sons during the day and with my wife in the evenings. We don’t watch TV and play on our phones, but we try to talk a lot during those times. I exercise with my sons and take them places.
So when an opportunity to go preach the gospel somewhere comes up, my wife is usually not thinking, “Wow, he’s always gone.”
Coupled with her desire to see people freed from sin and her love for justice, she is happy to send me on the streets so that I might be a catalyst for God to convert people from the domain of darkness to the kingdom of His Precious Son. And since I usually take my boys with me, she gets some time to do something else that she needs or likes to do.
My sons who are now 8 & 11 simply know street evangelism and giving out tracts everywhere we go as a way of life. To them, it’s just part and parcel of being Christian. It’s not “Dad’s hobby,” but something that is just a way we glorify God through obedience to His commands.
I am not saying that I have attained some perfect status of balance, but by grace and with the help of wise pastors, a spectacular wife who loves Jesus, and the Holy Spirit leading me, I am content with where I am and hopeful to keep growing in this area.
