Posted On April 1, 2019

Introducing: THINGS ABOVE+ PLUS!

by | Apr 1, 2019 | General

Exciting news, Things Above Us fans! Due to extraordinary demand, we are adding PAID features called Things Above+ Plus to our suite of offerings. See the sponsor levels and benefits below!

Earthly Minded $30/month

For those of you too cheap to realize the benefit offered by such faithful men that you can only shell out a dollar a day:

  • Pre-access to Kofi’s, Justin’s and Chuck’s blog posts (almost 1 per month!)
  • A signed copy of Before the Throne. It won’t be signed by Allen, though. You’ll have to pay reveal the mystery.
  • An excel sheet with all of Michael’s tweets that don’t have typos.

Heavenly Minded $60/month

For those of you who actually are setting your minds on Things Above us, and realize how far two dollars a day can go:

  • Everything in the Earthly Minded package AND…
  • A MNTGA (Make #NeverTrump Great Again) hat designed by our very own Jason.
  • All the source code (even the CSS and javascript) from all of Garrett’s websites designed before 2010.

Soli Deo Gloria $100/month

For those who truly love God:

  • Everything in the Earthly and Heavenly Minded packages AND…
  • A coffee cup with a photo of Michael and his “signature” smile.
  • Pre-release access to all Roundtable episodes
  • A photo of Jason Marianna in a Cleveland Browns Jersey.
  • A book of jokes by Timmmm Bates. Mostly just screen grabs of him pretending not to understand others’ tweets.

The sooner you sign up, the sooner you display your love for God and His people! *No refunds or cancellations.

What are You Waiting For?

Well, I hope that by now you’ve realized this is an April Fool’s Day joke. From the writers at ThingsAbove.Us, we want to offer our sincere thanks for reading the blog and sharing it with those whom you love. May God be glorified through those He has redeemed. Enjoy your day, today.

Related Posts

Quick Thoughts on Bethel Redding California

Quick Thoughts on Bethel Redding California

Bad Theology Take Here's a screenshotted FB post where someone quoted Kris Vallotton (from Bethel Redding) saying that the church must demonstrate the miraculous works of Christ. It is clearly implied that this is what allows nonbelievers to experience repentance....

Things Above Needs Your Help

Things Above Needs Your Help

Hello brothers and sisters! Michael Coughlin, Allen Nelson, Chuck Ivey, Dave Mitchell, and George Alvarado need your help. We write at Things Above Us and desire our audience and subscriptions to expand. So in essence, we just need three things. If you can help with...

Looking unto Jesus, In Context

Looking unto Jesus, In Context

In Hebrews 12:2, the key phrase "looking unto Jesus" is often quoted, but popularly misunderstood in light of its context. In general, every Christian knows we should always keep our eyes on Jesus. And in the midst of the troubles we face, it's even more important to...

Subscribe to Things Above Us!

Subscribe to Things Above Us!

Hello and happy Friday to those of you reading this on the day it's posted. Recently we discovered that our Mailchimp feed was headed to most people's SPAM mailboxes. This issue has now been fixed! Please use the subscribe links on the page to get an email every time...

Some Updates on Things Above Us

Some Updates on Things Above Us

We have been going through some transitions lately so I wanted to share a bit of what has been happening. Personally, I have been really busy pastoring Covenant Bible Church so my time for writing has been limited. No one has reached out to complain that I haven't...

What Can Rural Church Pastors do in the SBC?

What Can Rural Church Pastors do in the SBC?

Recently, during a public conversation with SBC 1st VP, Dr. Lee Brand, I had the opportunity to share what I think pastors in rural churches can do in the current tumult of the Southern Baptist Convention. I thought I would share these thoughts in writing as an...

0 Comments